As mentioned before, I have been reading Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Pastor Mark Vroegop, a book on Lament. I don't usually recommend books, but this one might be helpful for lay leaders in a church; his sections on Jeremiah and Lamentations are quite good, since we skip that book most of the time.
The lament psalms can help us when we are struggling with bitterness by providing an opportunity to talk to God about our pain and pray for those who've hurt us. Too often I find books dealing with bitterness tip toward what Chris Brauns, in his book Unpacking Forgiveness, calls therapeutic forgiveness--when we unconditionally forgive people so that we can deal with our pain.
I think this is a startling quote in the light of the cross. Christ died for our sins--but we must own them. Do we have a right to expect others to own their sin, acknowledge it and confess it? Perhaps there is a better answer to bitterness than just letting hurtful people off the hook. Can we take "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" too far? Maybe the hurtful ones knew what they were doing?
There are times, though, when we can be bitter or offended simply because we misinterpret or are too sensitive. Our bitterness may come from pride rather than an intentional offense of another. That takes confession of its own.
I do think we have to be careful about dismissing our really deserved pain, though (as from abuse). Dismissing is saying it wasn't real, wasn't an offense to God, and its long-term effect on us doesn't matter. It mattered to Jesus.
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