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Lent 2025: March 7

 As I face retirement from 47 years of professional practice, I am experiencing some not-so-friendly feelings. 

One of them is general annoyance by most of what goes on in my work place. That is sin for me, stemming from impatience and ingratitude. 

One of them is fatigue. It's a deep down exhaustion even when I feel pretty strong and energetic after a decent sleep.

From the fatigue comes what I call ennui and anhedonia. I lack joy, every thing (separation intentional) is a task I don't want to do (echoing the silly song on YouTube that is stuck in my head), every day is a rut or hamster wheel, at least at times. 

From that comes an occasional staring at the wall depression. 

Some of this is sin, some just the human body and experience. Some of it is coming from knowing I won't be so "needed" after the retirement date, or "important." . Some of it is fear about finances (not reasonable for me but understandable with the chaos in Washington, D.C.) Some of it is concern about a medical condition. Some from wishing my writing got more attention. Some of it fear of change. 

Some of these attitudes and beliefs border on sin, for me. They would not necessarily for others. 

So, Lent is a time for interrogation and confession and repentance. 

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