I am supposed to teach this passage, and the next chapter, in my Life Group class tomorrow. I have had the flu or COVID, so my typical preparation pattern of doing most of the work on Monday and Tuesday has been set aside and I'm contemplating the passages more now.
I will preface the lesson tomorrow, and this post, with the observation that there isn't much doctrine here and nothing all that prescriptive and really relevant to the lives of middle-aged women (or older) in the year 2025. Historical background, some influence on New Testament texts, and some food for thought is the best I can do. I will pose questions about what went wrong in Solomon's life, but that was so excessive and grotesque--a thousand animals sacrificed, a thousand wives (perhaps round numbers for emphasis?) all those horses and wealth--that it beggars disbelief or at least dismissal as having any relevance. He was a Middle-Eastern potentate, not unlike something from the Ottoman Empire, in many ways. At least it seems that way from a 21st century mountaintop (I use that ironically--we are not so enlightened as we think).
However, one piece of advice David, on his deathbed, gives to his son is "Be strong and be a man, and keep your obligation to the Lord your God to walk in his ways and to keep his statutes, commands, ordinances, and decrees.(I Kings 2:2-3). Why would he says this? In this case, I think the record is inspired in that it is accurate, not that the advice is inspired. Elsewhere in these chapters there is a lot of intrigue that doesn't seem very holy or inspired. But why, "be a man"?
First, the sources I read say Solomon is only twelve at this time. So it could be a difference of being a child versus an adult. In other words, this is the time for you to pass into adulthood.
Side note: If Solomon reigned forty years, he only lived to fifty-two, not that long even then. Did his excesses kill him? We assume he just was sexually excessive, but he might have eaten and drunk excessively, too.
Second, it might be the the distinction is between living like an animal versus a man. That seems strange to us, but there are other places in the Bible where this distinction is made. Animals lives by instincts and baser passions (II Peter 2:12).
Third, it might be a reference to the "man as the image of God." "Live and be as someone created in the image of the HOLY God," a foundation of being Jewish. Images of God were not allowed; neither were images of man, who was made in the image of God.
Of course, our first thought is "be a man, rather than a woman." I don't think that is what David is getting at, but it is interesting that we see that in the text. "Be a man" equals "don't be a woman--don't be soft, emotional, weak, dependent..." So we wonder, did David see something weak and emotional about Solomon, as in maybe he was too close to his momma (Bathsheba is getting into the story here a LOT). Well, he's only twelve.
That view, that reaction, shows our embedded tendency to think these things about women: they are weak, emotional, soft, dependent, unreliable in hard times, not as smart, not as .... whatever, less than a man."
I find that pretty off-putting, but not the first time I have encountered it, especially in the church. But it does raise questions: What is it "to be a man," and how can we "be a woman" without all that ridiculous cultural baggage?
On the first, I am not a man, so I am not sure I can address it. I am supposed to be angry about that, but I am not. I have no desire to be a man or have the privileges of a man, because with those privileges come burdens I do not want. E.G., if there is a war, women don't get drafted. (17% of the military is female, by the way.) Women are compliant in their own "oppression" in this country to a large extent. We don't have to wear heels or put up with some of the things we do. Yes, Yes, I know. Pink tax is a real thing, and medicine uses the male body as the norm, ignoring that women have heart attacks more frequently than realized. It's give and take; a woman can simply say "enough," be informed, and refuse to play the game. Men, I am not sure they can so easily. The game, I mean, is societal expectations of what gender is. A woman can be outdoorsy and athletic and not be labeled a lesbian. A young man who likes theatre or music is going to be labeled "gay" pretty quickly even if he works on a farm the rest of his time.
So, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe David thought Solomon a momma's boy. Not. David knew his son Solomon-- not the youngest or the oldest, not the one with the best reputation as to his birth, but one of them too young to have rebelled against him or to have raped his sister--was the one he chose to be king and who had to take on the burdens immediately.
Let's not read our society's and culture's pathologies into Scripture.
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