Unfortunately, he committed suicide, so even this wisdom was not enough. If anybody feels like perspiring, I'd invite you to go ahead because I'm sure going to. In fact, I'm going to get a hickey right here. Greetings, thanks, and congratulations to Kenyon's graduating class of 2005. There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?" This is a standard requirement of US commencement speeches, the deployment of didactic little parabolish stories. The story thing turns out to be one of the better, less bullshitty conventions of the genre. But if you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise older fish explaining what water is to you, younger fish, please don't be. I am not th...
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